[ICB] Reynolds QUALITY Plastic Wrap
Last year, Christina and I developed a blog meme that we called “Individually Collective Blogging” or ICB. We originally developed it in preparation for writing our Collective NaNovel for NaNoWriMo. And while collective noveling didn’t go as swimmingly as we had thought it would, collective blogging is still fantastic.
2010 should be a fun year of collective blogging. If you’re a new reader you can check out last year’s posts in the my ICB Archives and Christina’s ICB Archives.
This week’s topic: Experiences Being a Geeky Kid
Visit Christina’s blog to read about her experiences being a geeky kid: here.
Last January I produced incontrovertible evidence that I have an inner “Ross.” Actually, I think it’s probably more like an outer Ross…. but that’s beside the point. The point is, I don’t believe that one becomes a “Ross.” Rather, I believe that one is born a “Ross.” In my previous post I talked about worshiping Stephen J. Gould and my love of dinosaurs at the tender age of perhaps six (Kindergarten). I was also a voracious reader all through elementary school, being in the top reading groups, topping the charts at the local library for most books read during the summer, and just in general being kind of “bookish.” However, nothing is as fantastic a story to illustrate my geekiness as a kid as the time that I took plastic wrap to show -and-tell.
The Plastic Wrap Story
This was the crowning glory of my geekiness as a kid. It took place long before I ever thought about worshiping Stephen J. Gould or before I could even read. I was probably four-years-old and I was in Preschool. At that time in my life the only thing I cared about were commercials. I would run around and play during the programs and then come screaming back in, eyes glued to the TV, when the commercials came on. I think my parents had dreams of me being n amazing advertising guru.
One day I was at the grocery store with my mom and she was replenishing her stock of plastic wrap. As she reached for the Saran Wrap I said in my tiny, four-year-old voice, “No mom! You should buy Reynolds QUALITY Plastic Wrap!” I’m not sure how I knew that she was buying Saran Wrap instead since I couldn’t read; possibly she was reading her shopping list aloud, or possibly I just recognized the packaging. Mom kind of gave me a funny look, but rather than disappoint her tiny daughter she obliged me. (Note: the key word in the name of the brand that I implored my mother to buy is “QUALITY” and you have to say the full name, Reynolds QUALITY Plastic Wrap, with the emphasis on the key word… else it’s just not right.)
When we got home I was so excited to show my mom why it was essential that she immediately switch to this new plastic wrap. I asked for her to tear off a sheet of Saran Wrap and then to tear off a sheet of Reynolds QUALITY Plastic Wrap (RQPW from now on for the sake of saving me from carpal tunnel syndrome). In one hand she was to wad up the Saran Wrap and in the other she was to wad up the RQPW in the other. “OK, now let go of them… the Saran Wrap is gonna un-wad, but the RQPW will stay all balled together!” I announced happily.
My mother gave me a bit of a worried look and prayed as she set her hands with the wads of plastic wrap in them down on the counter. She was praying that her poor little four-year-old daughter was not just prey to some advertising conglomerate’s smoke and mirrors trick. And whether it was an act of God or whether RQPW was really just that good, we both watched in amazement as the Saran Wrap wad unwadded itself and the RQPW stayed tightly balled up. I smiled. My mom looked pleased at her new favorite product.
And that’s when I announced that that is what I wanted to take for Show-And-Tell that week.
Mom carefully labeled an envelope containing a square of Saran Wrap with a big “S” and an envelope containing a square of RQPW with a big “R” on it (remember, I can’t read at this point). And I went happily off on my way to Preschool. When my mom came to pick me up she asked me how it went. I hung my head and said, “Not so good…” Worried that maybe the experiment had not gone the same way as it did when we had tried it at home my mom inquired about the results of the Show-And-Tell with my teacher. To which my teacher replied:
Oh no, it went exactly like Whitney said it was. Unfortunately the finer points of plastic wrap are lost on most four-year-olds. However, I for one, will never again buy Saran Wrap!
Following up about RQPW
A very sad thing happened this year. Reynolds quit making their QUALITY Plastic Wrap. According to their website:
Discontinued Products
- Reynolds® Hot Bags
- Reynolds® Seal-Tight Plastic Wrap
- Reynolds® Handi-Vac® Vaccuum Food Storage System
Unfortunately due to low consumer demand, we have decided to discontinue these products and all inventory has been depleted. We regret that we cannot make this product available to you and apologize for any inconvenience this has caused.
I think that my mother and I own the very last three boxes of Reynolds QUALITY Plastic Wrap in existence. We got them for Christmas this year. It was the best gift anyone could have ever given us!! Reynolds… if you’re listening… BRING BACK THE PLASTIC WRAP! I promise, there is a consumer demand!!
And now I’d like to present my readers with a special treat… here, hosted on My New Chimerical Kit is the very experiment that I performed as a Preschooler for Show-And-Tell nearly twenty-six years ago! Roll ‘em!!
Note: My mom is so awesome. We did that video in one take and it was completely unscripted. Did I mention that she’s awesome?
Great story! I love how you presented it! I can totally relate to an inner Ross (never thought about it that way before but that is SO true)!
Thanks! I was also the only kid in my four-year-old preschool class who knew what the definition of “hibernation” was. That however, was because my mother and father had a friend who received a pet skunk as a gag gift for graduating college. Lekkie (the guy) and Barney (the skunk) used to visit me and we had to talk about why Barney was so sluggish in the winter… or why he was hibernating… and what that meant. I think my teacher must have thought I was one of her most “interesting” students. I often wonder what we’d talk about if I met her now.
Oh this is awesome! You need to email this post to Reynolds! I remember grocery shopping with my mom sometime around that age and sneaking in a box of the “sugar cereal” in the middle of the cart. I’d seen it on commercials and Mom only let me eat Cheerios and Kix and Chex and boring stuff like that … I wanted marshmallows and fun colors!
I did get away with sneaking the cereal in the cart. However, I felt so guilty that I immediately told her about it. I was kind of a goody-two-shoes back then …
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This story just cracks me up. I remember when your mother told it to me, and I initially thought it was a joke!
I didn’t know they discontinued the product, though. That explains why I couldn’t find any over the holidays, when I wanted to wrap my cookies in something better than Saran Wrap. So sad!
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Jesus I used to worship SJG too. We are weirdly alike.Maybe you need to visit Mississippi next time you go geneologizing in the South.
And yes your mother is the coolest.
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@Cece just more evidence that we are linked by cosmic forces that we can never truly understand. One of the best moments of
my life was when I found out that SJG was the keynote speaker for the baccalaurate service for the President’s List students when I was at Elon. I’m just happy to say that I got to hear him speak after worshiping him for so long!